As I mentioned in my previous post (“Hello Again”), I wanted to share with you what’s been going on as far as my fitness/weight loss journey goes, but first, a little background info…
So I’ve been operating in a larger body for the better part of my life, and for a long time that was a source of shame and frustration for me. Add to that a number of instances of bullying and discouraging comments about my size (even from people who meant well), and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. It took me well into adulthood to decide that I was going to be happy in whatever body I was in, and even longer to decide that I was also beautiful, full-stop, no conditions or “for a big girl”, etc. I’ve tried and failed a number of times to lose weight, but those attempts always came down to try to fit some particular standard of beauty or to try to make myself more attractive. Once I finally felt comfortable in my own skin, I stopped striving for weight loss in the name of beauty and just let myself be who I was.
A little over a year and a half ago, one of my sisters had the most perfect baby in the world (don’t even @ me, you will not change my mind on this lol), and once she started getting to an age where she was up and running, I realized that I was struggling to keep up with her.
In addition to that I was feeling increasingly more tired and physically fatigued and had difficulty doing even simple things like getting in and out of my car, and walking for longer than a few minutes at a time. About 7 months ago, I realized that if I wanted to be able to keep up with my niece (and really, life in general), I needed to start changing some of my habits.
I started off slow at first, drinking less pop (a.k.a Soda, Coke, Pepsi depending on where you live lol) and walking outside for 20-30 minutes 1-2 times a week, etc. Gradually I’d tweaked things over time until I got to a place where I felt like I could challenge myself a bit more. Around September I decided to do a round of Whole30 (I had done it once before) because I was ready to kind of reset my body and mind to eating even healthier. Whole30 is not for everyone, and in my opinion is not meant to be a sustainable, long term solution. However, it is a great way to see how food effects your body, and to learn how to be more mindful about what you are eating. Once I finished a round of Whole30 I started playing around and trying to figure out how to implement some of it’s principles in a way that was practical and sustainable for me.
As far as physical activity goes, I started actually using the gym membership I had been paying for and started to go more regularly. I struggled with exercise off and on for a bit. October was a really great month, I did some form of physical activity about 5 days a week, and I did a lot of walking outside (it became a form of therapy for me and a great time of connectedness with God and my friends). Then November (and my seasonal depression) hit and I was lucky to even make it to the gym 4 times that month. I realized pretty quickly that I had to have a goal beyond just going to get and keep myself being active regularly. So, I decided to start training to walk a 10K! I’ve walked a few 5K races and some smaller fun runs in the past, so I wanted to set a goal for myself that would be an actual challenge. I also started doing some strength training (which I am obsessed with by the way) so I’d have some variety in my routine. So far this seems to be working really well for me (I’ll get into more detail on my routine, motivation tips, etc. in other posts) and I feel like I’m making really great progress on the health and fitness front!
My primary focus is to be healthier and to keep up with my crazy (adorable) niece, but I do also keep track of the weight I’m losing and the changes in my body. For some people this is not helpful, and I totally understand that, but for me it’s really nice to see visible evidence of all the hard work I’m putting in. I figure as long as I understand that the scale does not determine my worth then I will be okay. I won’t be perfect at it, but I will certainly give it my best shot!
I’m looking forward to keeping you updated on my progress and sharing other parts of my journey as well! Stay tuned for some fun beauty stuff Friday!